


Cordy’s Back!

by TomHRichardson



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Humorous/Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 22:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomHRichardson/pseuds/TomHRichardson
Summary: PREVIOUSLY ON “BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER”: In the third season of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Scooby Gang charter member Xander started a hot romance with Cordelia, the sexiest and most popular girl at Sunnydale High School. In the beginning of the show’s fourth season, Cordelia had moved to L.A. to become an actress, and Xander was seduced by Anya, an ex-demon who was hot for Xander’s body. But Anya, back in her demon days, granted the vengeance wishes of scorned women against their unfaithful men.Fourth season “BtVS,” first season “Angel”: How will Anya act if Xander is seriously tempted to stray with former girlfriend Cordelia Chase? How will Cordelia act if she discovers that Xander has grown up, both emotionally and physically? And how will Xander act if two women want him?





	Cordy’s Back!

**Author's Note:**

> LEGAL NOTICE: Rogaine is a registered trademark of Johnson & Johnson Consumer Inc. 
> 
> REAL-LIFE CELEBRITY NOTICE: Britney Spears appears briefly, in a dream sequence. 
> 
> This story rated PG-13 for sexual references and situations

# Cordy’s Back!

## by Tom H. Richardson

**May, 2000  
Office of Angel Investigations  
Los Angeles**

It was a typical workday for Cordelia Chase: A demon was arguing with a vampire about another demon, right in front of her desk.

“You can’t succeed,” said Quorth. “He’s the Archdemon.”

Angel shook his head. “We have to succeed. We have to kill the Archdemon before he destroys L.A.”

Angel was Cordelia’s boss at the detective agency. He was also a vampire. He also was in love with a certain barely fashionable Vampire Slayer. He was also the most beautiful man Cordelia had ever seen, except for Xander in swim trunks— _Stop that, it’s over._

Now Quorth raised a scaly eyebrow. “ ‘ _We_ ’? Even if you bring them along”—Quorth gestured toward Cordelia and Wesley—“the result’s the same: death and destruction in L.A. Not that _he_ looks like he could brave a Compost Demon, much less the Archdemon.”

“Sir,” Wesley said, “I resent—”

Cordelia glared at Quorth. “How do you know we can’t do it? Wesley here is a rogue demon hunter, and I once attended Sunnydale High a whole day without eye shadow!”

Quorth laughed. “Firstly, I know because my demonic gift is that I know nearly everything.”

“Is that so.”

“For instance, I know who made the final payment on your prom dress, and why you did not pay it.”

Wesley’s eyebrows went up. “You didn’t just charge it on Father’s charge card?”

Of course Cordelia wasn’t about to tell Wesley the truth. The IRS had seized the family’s assets and had imprisoned her father for tax evasion; it had been only by Xander’s generosity that she’d had a prom dress to wear.

But now before embarrassed Cordelia could invent a lie, Quorth resumed, “I also know, Cordelia Alexis Chase, that the vengeance demon granted you a wish while you were angry at Xander and Willow, yet you didn’t make a wish to hurt either of them.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Fine, you know _nearly_ everything. Can you say ‘loophole’?”

“Secondly, you can’t win against the Archdemon because he is Hell’s most powerful demon. Destroying this city is to him like kicking over a house of cards.”

“Dear me,” Wesley replied. “Angel, I recommend caution—”

Angel shook his head. “We have to hit now, we have to hit hard, and we have to hit right. People, we need ideas.”

“Do we need to _kill_ this Archdemon guy?” Cordelia asked. “Could we weaken him instead, or bind him, or convince him to clean out his closets?”

Not often does one see an Omniscience Demon surprised. Then Quorth looked at Cordelia with respect. “There is a spell that can bar the Archdemon from the earth, but only until the full moon. And only two witches of power, bonded to each other, can cast it.”

“Bonded how?” Angel asked.

“By blood, or by hot blood: mother and daughter, sisters, or lovers.”

“And how do we spot these witches?” Cordelia asked. “Lots of women know that black is slimming.”

Quorth said, “The nearest pair are in Sunnydale. Their true names are Willow and Tara.”

Wesley asked, “Is that Willow’s mother’s name?”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “What, you think I remember a thing like that?”

“Willow’s mother’s name is Sheila,” Quorth said, “and Willow has neither siblings nor children.”

Cordelia did the math: “That means—no _wonder_ Willow likes to wear overalls.”

Angel shrugged. “A full moon buys us two days. What about weakening the Archdemon, know anything for that?”

Quorth stared into space. “Hmm...yes. The Wand of Whedonj can turn a mortal into a demon, or a demon into a mortal. Even the Archdemon is no match for its magicks.”

“And where is this Wand of Whedonj?”

“Buried in a gold box, in the back yard of the recent Mayor of Sunnydale.”

Wesley bit a knuckle. “Dear me! The Mayor had a backup plan for Ascension?”

Envious Cordelia pasted on a smile as she looked at Angel. “Lucky you, you get to return to Sunnydale.”

Angel shook his head. “I need to keep watch here, in case the Archdemon makes new trouble. Cordy, you go.”

Cordelia didn’t want the trip as much if it was too easy to get. “Angel, Sunnydale would be great for you! You could get out of flaky L.A., go see Buffy—” Angel sighed. “Oh. You think you’d be really happy to see her.”

Angel nodded glumly. “So I don’t dare go.”

“A sound argument, Cordelia,” Wesley said. “None of us wishes for Angel to achieve another moment of perfect happiness, only to lose his soul and become evil Angelus again.”

Cordelia waved that off. “Two words, Angel: ‘mood control.’ I mean, I expect to run into Xander in Sunnydale, but I’ll deal. And I’m not eligible for quadruple senior discounts.”

Wesley’s eyes narrowed at Cordelia’s mention of Xander. “Angel, Cordelia could be in great danger. I insist on going as her bodyguard.”

“Sorry,” Angel said, “I need you here.”

“But—”

“Wesley, don’t worry,” Cordelia said soothingly. “Like I ever want Xander Harris back in my life again.”

For some reason, this sent Quorth into booming laughter.

* * *

**Sunnydale**

Xander puffed on an imaginary cigarette, then pantomimed passing it to Anya. “Togetherness is great. Like when Mom and Dad go power-walking together. And how was tonight for you?”

Anya smiled at him. “You gave me the Happy Feeling, then I had a fierce orgasm.” Anya ran one hand over Xander’s muscular arm and felt the Happy Feeling coming back.

“Just one? The X-man is slipping.”

That made Anya think something she wished she hadn’t. She searched Xander’s face as she asked, “Were you this good when you interlocked with Cordelia?”

“Until you and I danced the mattress mambo, my only sex was with Faith. Which goes to prove: Guys _can be_ raped.”

“Why didn’t you interlock with Cordelia? She has big breasts, and she was a cheerleader. Were you impotent?”

“Are you kidding? That girl can _kiss_!”

Anya frowned.

Not noticing, Xander continued, “But after she’s just called me ‘the Salvation Army Store’s one millionth customer’? Makes it difficult to keep the party jumping. Then, too, any day I expected her to dump me.”

“Why?”

“I knew the jocks were better built than me.”

Anya squeezed his biceps. “Not any more.”

“Meanwhile, _your_ bosoms are just fine.” Xander proceeded to prove he meant it.

The Happy Feeling got strong again, but then disappeared again when Anya got another unwelcome thought. “If you expected Cordelia to dump you, why did you cheat on her first?”

“I didn’t cheat on her, I just kissed Willow. Okay, so the end result was that Cordelia nearly died after she caught me. And _that_ led to you, an 1120-year-old vengeance demon, becoming an eighteen-year-old orgasm addict. But I didn’t _mean_ to cause trouble.”

“Now I’m confused.”

“Yeah?”

“Men are evil. You think only about interlocking, and at no time do you regard women’s feelings. You yourself have admitted these faults.”

“Okay, so?”

“I feel bad when I can’t be with you. Life was so much simpler when I was Anyanka, Granter of Wishes to Women.”

“Know what you mean. When I was possessed by a hyena spirit, the old to-do list only had two lines: _Kill_ and _Sleep_. Still, I have zilch interest in going back to those days, isn’t that strange.”

She rolled onto her side to frown at him. “You think I _want_ to be the vengeance demon again?”

“Why else do you mention those days all the time?”

“I was Anyanka for eleven hundred years. What do you expect me to talk about, the Algebra II class I flunked? Besides, I know not to wait for you to _ask_ me about Anyanka Time.”

“Anya, news flash: A story of a lion eating some guy’s testicles is not my idea of fun conversation.”

“If you’re not interested enough in Anyanka Time to ask questions, you’re not interested enough in me. Except for orgasms.”

Xander made a gesture saying, _I give up._ “Question One: What wish was the most imaginative?”

“That her ex-beau would be priapic in public, and flaccid in private.”

Xander pictured walking the halls of Sunnydale High with a baseball-bat bulge in front; he shuddered. “Second question. In eleven hundred years as a vengeance demon, did you ever tell a woman, ‘Put this aside and move on’?”

“Never.” Anya’s expression said, _Are you crazy?_

* * *

Then Anya smiled at Xander. “You _are_ interested in me!”

“Oh no, it’s not the _I_ word. More like the _L_ word. Well, not _exactly_ the _L_ word. But close.”

“You make me want to interlock again. Let’s kiss and make up.” Then Anya got a glint in her eye.

* * *

A dorm door opened wide enough to show Cordelia the face of a bottle blonde with tacky dark roots, and with only slightly more cosmetics sense than Willow. ( _Impossible to have less_ , Cordelia thought.) The fashion victim looked blankly at Cordelia, who stood in the dorm hallway. “Yes?”

Cordelia laid on the charm. “Hello, are you Tara? I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Willow. It’s important.”

The blonde looked behind her. “Willow?”

Cordelia heard bare feet on linoleum, then the door opened wide. Both Tara and Willow, Cordelia now saw, were wearing bathrobes.

“Yes, they’ve bonded,” Cordelia muttered.

“Cordelia?” Willow said. Then Willow noticed Cordelia noticing her bathrobe. “Um, Tara and I were playing ‘Spin the Bottle.’ I mean, we were levitating the bottle and making it spin. You know me, nothing but study-study-study, and improving my witch powers.”

Cordelia walked into the room. As Tara quickly closed the door, she asked, “Are you the Cordelia who dated Xander?”

“You know Xander? How is he?”

“I’ve met him a few times,” Tara said, as she picked up a newspaper off a chair. Then Tara frowned: “And I’ve heard _so_ much about Xander.” Then her face brightened: “Say, you can look him up while you’re here!”

“Maybe later,” Cordelia said. “Right now, I need your help, both of you.” Cordelia pointed to the newspaper headline that bannered, “PASADENA DESTROYED!”

Willow’s smile was catty. “Oh my. Cordelia, asking for help?”

“I’m asking for Angel,” Cordelia replied archly. “Will you help now, or is the Ellen Degeneres Fan Club still in session?”

Five minutes later, Willow hung up the phone, then picked up a sheet of paper that she’d filled with writing. “Giles gave me the binding spell, but says we need the menstrual blood of a non-virgin.” Neither Willow and Tara said more, and neither asked the other her menstrual status.

Cordelia felt her face turn hot. “If you two will look away, I’ll fish out my pad.”

Willow tried to act cool: “Oh, sure, I’ll bet you and Xander made it lots of times. Which is perfectly okay.”

“I never made it with Xander. He lacked that important something: cash. Which I know wasn’t a problem for _you_.” As Cordelia hiked up her skirt to attend to business, she explained to Tara, “Willow kissed Xander while he was my boyfriend. Who knows what she might have done if I hadn’t caught them?”

“But I would’ve stopped anyway,” Willow said in a small voice. “I never intended for anyone to know. I never wanted anyone to be hurt.”

The binding spell was soon completed. Willow said, as she threw Cordelia’s menstrual pad into the trash, “I’m sorry we were too late to save Pasadena.”

Cordelia shrugged. “I’ve never been there. No biggee.”

Cordelia stood to leave Tara’s dorm room. Cordelia was surprised when Tara said, “Wait, I’ll walk you out.”

Just before Cordelia re-entered sunshine, Tara turned to her and grabbed her arm. “Listen, Xander’s current girlfriend is really weird—I’ll bet you could win him back from her if you tried. And then you could a-ask Xander to j-join you in L.A.”

“Like I want to. Xander is _so_ ancient history, and he’s nothing special.”

Tara’s headshake was fervent. “If W-Willow c-cares for him, he’s special. Hasn’t he saved your life?”

* * *

“And the Wand of Whedonj is right here in Sunnydale?” Giles asked. That evening Giles was hosting a meeting of most of the Scooby Gang.

“Uh-huh, in the Mayor’s yard, and we need to find that Wand fast,” Cordelia answered. “So the Archdemon won’t kill everyone who can give me a starring role.”

“How is Aaron Spelling dead a bad thing?” Buffy quipped.

Giles looked thoughtful. “I wonder: Since it can turn a demon into a man, can the Wand do the same for a vampire?”

“No bloody thanks,” replied a new member of the team. “Rogaine, Gut Busters, forced retirement, arthritis? Sod all that.”

Cordelia still was not used to the idea of Spike as one of the good guys.

The front door opened, and Xander burst in, along with—

“ _Anya?_ ” Cordelia demanded. “My replacement is an _ex-demon?_ ”

Xander was so surprised to see Cordelia, he tripped on a table leg. “Cordy. Hi. Uh, good to see you, I didn’t know you were in town—”

Anya’s voice was frost. “And what would you have done if you’d known?”

“Nothing! Nothing, I swear.”

Cordelia started to politely tell Xander “You’re looking good these days.” But the words caught in her throat as she realized: They were true. God, Xander was _buff_! He’d put on thirty pounds of muscle since she’d left. And his eyes held a knowledge they’d lacked before—her no-longer boyfriend was no longer a boy. Cordelia looked at Xander as she hadn’t looked at him since he’d joined the SHS swim team.

Anya must have noticed that look. She eyed Cordelia and said, “I just performed oral sex on Xander. He always has an orgasm after I cover it with chocolate sauce.”

Cordelia felt embarrassed; Xander went scarlet. Willow and Tara also looked embarrassed, but maybe they had a different reason. Buffy and Giles studied the floor.

Spike laughed. “You’re all as bloody prim as Queen Victoria.”

“Anyway, what’s going on?” Xander blurted.

Cordelia said, “Angel sent me to find the Wand of Whedonj. It’s the only thing that will save L.A.”

“What’s it do?”

“It turns a demon into a man. Of course, it also can turn a man into a demon, but who wants that? That is, other than a demented mayor with no color sense.”

Anya blinked.

* * *

_What do I do now?_ Anya wondered.

Anya couldn’t believe the whole room wasn’t turning to stare at her. Did nobody else see what she saw? She could be Anyanka again! Vengeance Demon extraordinaire, immortal granter of the Wish, worshipped by spurned women, feared by men, almost as powerful as the Archdemon!

But then Anya tasted the ghost of an Altoid mint, which reminded her what she’d recently given Xander. Xander—how she loved him. And just smelling him next to her, she wanted to interlock again. She would feel so bad to lose him, even the thought was unbearable—but if she became Anyanka, Xander would turn his face from her. He’d made that clear again, only this morning.

It was decided, then: Anya couldn’t give up Xander. But alas, the _power_ she was giving up instead!

_The power!_

* * *

_What do I do now?_ Xander wondered.

One foot from Anya, Xander found himself amazed by Cordelia. Queen C, meekly taking orders from Angel? Maybe Cordy had learned some humility. (Lord knows she needed to, Xander thought.) Xander listened in amazement as Cordelia let others speak (most of the time), and she even listened (some of the time). This past year, Xander decided, Cordelia had changed.

Cordelia had changed in another way, Xander realized. When they’d dated, she’d often smiled at his jokes, and many times she’d been grateful for his bravery. But while he’d many times made her hot when he’d kissed her, only once had he truly believed she wanted to rip her clothes off and sweatily cavort with him.

But not one minute ago, Cordelia Chase had stripped him naked with her eyes. _Yowza!_ And she was as much the hottie as ever.

Despite Anya’s efforts to wear him out, Xander found himself erect. He casually moved his hands to cover his bulge.

* * *

Willow and Tara were keen to find the Wand of Whedonj with a spell. Willow searched the Internet fruitlessly, while Giles had everyone else paging through dusty books. Even Spike helped, though he complained about it. But then Cordelia looked up.

“This Wand thing is in a gold box, right? Hello, all we need is a _metal detector!_ ”

* * *

Three o’clock the next morning, lookout Cordelia sat on the lawn by Giles’s car and waited for the rest of the gang to return. The car was parked in front of one of the Mayor’s neighbors.

Cordelia spotted a police car approach, its lightbar off.

Cordelia thought fast. She searched the glove compartment for a tire gauge, and got lucky. As the police car approached the Mayor’s home, Cordelia ducked down and pushed in the button on one of the tire stems, letting the air out of that tire. Then she made the ultimate sacrifice: She grabbed the tire and got black yuck on her hands.

As two officers cautiously climbed out of the police car, each holding a flashlight, Cordelia ran up to them as fast as high heels would permit. “Hey guys, am I glad to see you! My tire’s flat. _Please_?”

Two flashlight beams quickly swung to shine on her. “Whoo-ee,” one cop breathed. Maybe it was because Cordelia was the designated Distraction in the plan, and she was dressed to Distract.

“Miss, we’d love to help you,” the other cop said regretfully, “but we have more important business. We have a complaint from a neighbor about possible trespassers here.”

Cordelia thought fast again. “Haven’t heard a thing. And I’ve been here half an hour, trying to change this stupid tire.” Cordelia took a deep breath, almost ripping the material covering her breasts. “Please, I’d be so grateful if you changed it.”

The two policemen looked at each other. “Hell, it’s probably some haunted-house dare by neighbor kids,” the whoo-ee cop said.

“Whereas here we have a citizen in need of assistance,” the other cop agreed.

Cordelia thought, _Please, gang, don’t come out front until the cops leave, or we’re all in big trouble._

Buffy & Co. stayed gone. But as the cops were driving off—and Cordelia was sighing in relief—a black car drove by, stopped, backed up, and stopped again.

The black car had its windows painted black. Which sounded familiar, but Cordelia couldn’t place it.

The car’s door opened, and Harmony Kendall got out.

* * *

Harmony being here, now, was even more of a disaster than those two cops, Cordelia realized. Harmony could call the police and identify everyone here by name. Cordelia had to run her off, and fast!

Harmony, meanwhile, wore a strange smile. “Cordy? So I heard right, you’re back in town?”

“Just until tomorrow. And how you been doing? How was your trip to France?”

“You don’t even know I—goody, this makes it easier.”

“Makes _what_ easier?”

Harmony walked toward Cordelia. “I want to tell you a secret.”

“Really? I thought you were mad at me.”

“Why should I let myself be bothered because you always said bad stuff about my hair? And my makeup, and my clothes, and my boyfriends? As they say, ‘Life is petite.’ ” Harmony stepped closer. “Let me tell you my secret.”

“Listen, I’d love to hear it, but it’s late and we’re both tired. Go to bed and call me tomorrow, okay?”

Harmony was two feet away, and her strange smile got bigger. “It’s a juicy secret. You’ll die when you hear it.”

* * *

Behind Cordelia, Xander yelled “ _No!_ ” Cordelia heard running feet, then a strong male hand shoved a cross into Harmony’s face. And Harmony—

And Harmony, with a snarl, whirled her vamp-face away from the cross and Cordelia.

Xander, only slightly winded, calmly said to Harmony, “Get in Spike’s car and drive away now. Else I’ll do something you’ll regret.”

Twenty seconds later: “And your little pooch, too!” Harmony yelled to Cordelia as she drove away.

Cordelia by then had the shakes. “Harmony—she almost—I came _this close_ to—and I _live_ to sunbathe!” She threw her arms around Xander. “My hero. Again!” Cordelia kissed Xander hard on the mouth.

Giles looked embarrassed. Spike looked ready to retch. Willow frowned; Tara smiled. Buffy, who was holding a dirty gold box, looked amused.

Anya looked pissed.

* * *

Britney Spears gushed, “Oh, Xander! You saved L.A.!”

Xander gave her his best cool-dude smile. “Just another day for the X-man. But this time I needed help.”

Britney’s voice was a purr: “Generous, too. I like that.” She began unbuttoning her top. “How can I show my admir—?” Upstairs, the doorbell rang.

Xander groaned, rolled over, and squinted at the clock by his bed: 12:34 in the afternoon. Xander was drifting back to sleep when the doorbell rang again.

Xander jammed his lower half into pants, a task made harder because Xander had enjoyed his dream of Britney. Now decent, Xander shambled up the stairs. In the kitchen he called out, “Mom? Dad?” No answer.

Xander looked out the kitchen window and saw why: In the back yard stood his Uncle Rory, schnapps glass in hand, who was regaling Xander’s folks with another colorful tale.

Xander yawned, combed his hair with a hand, and plodded to the front door.

“And what if I’d been the Prize Patrol?” his visitor demanded.

“Good to see you too, Cordy.” Xander yawned again; he couldn’t help it. “Come in.”

Instead of walking in, she stooped, and Xander now noticed what she’d brought with her. “Don’t, I’ll get them,” Xander said. “From here, Giles is driving you to the bus station?”

“You get the suitcases,” Cordelia said, “this gold box I’m guarding with my _life_. No, from here I’m taking _a taxi_ to the bus station.” Then Cordelia floored Xander with her next words: “It wouldn’t be considerate to Giles.”

Xander started to lead Cordelia into the living room. But she looked meaningfully toward his former bedroom. “I need to talk to you.”

Xander carried the suitcases instead toward the basement door, and Cordelia followed. “I moved into the basement,” he called over his shoulder as they went down the stairs. “Mom’s happy—she’s not losing a son, she’s gaining an artist’s studio. Meanwhile, the latest trend in bachelor bedrooms is their own washer and dryer.”

Cordelia smiled at that. “Always with the jokes.” Then she looked nervous. “So.”

“So?”

“We kissed for the first time in a basement. Remember the maggot man? Yuck!”

_Where is she going with this?_ Xander wondered. “We’ve never done more than kiss. A fact that caused many cold showers at the Harris home.”

She nodded. Then she looked him full in the eyes. “You should’ve been my first. Even if you _do_ think Tommy Hilfiger is a jazz musician.”

There was nothing Xander could say to that. So he said nothing at all.

Half an hour later, Xander thought he heard the doorbell ring again. (He couldn’t be sure, because he and Cordelia were making too much noise.) Xander returned his attention to Cordelia. Ten seconds after that—

“You _man_ , you!” Anya yelled. She stood at the foot of the stairs, looking as if she’d been kicked in the stomach.

* * *

Anya didn’t attack Xander, and she didn’t attack Cordelia. Instead, Anya attacked the gold box. She shot its bolt back, jerked open the lid, and seized the Wand of Whedonj.

The Wand was a rod made of ebony and silver. Inset at the far end was a huge faceted purple gem that glowed ultraviolet. Lightning danced across the surfaces of the gem.

One of Anya’s hands shot the Wand aloft. The other hand wiped away tears that ran down her face. “ _O Whedonjam armessam, choro meg!_ ” Anya sobbed. “ _Oggern merka sek ir Anyankaer, Wishillot Gynilleb Grantoblixer!_ ”

Xander looked at Cordelia. “I’m guessing we’re about to be hamburger.”

Cordelia nodded. “Everything I wanted to do to you and Willow, she’s gonna do to us.”

The lightning ran down the Wand, then down Anya’s arm, then up and down her body. Anya’s body changed. Smooth, pink skin became pale, flaky, and scarred. Veins and bones bulged out in her tear-streaked face. Some of her hair fell out, and the rest lost color and luster.

The wand flew out of Anyanka’s hand and straight into the gold box; a glance from Anyanka, and the box shut and rebolted itself. “I am Anyanka, Granter of Wishes to Women,” the she-demon said in a fearsome voice.

Before Anyanka could say more, naked Cordelia sprang out of bed. “I have a wish!”

“So do I: to see you both die creatively.”

Cordelia put hands on naked hips and glared at Anyanka. “But you’re not a woman now, you’re a demon. You can’t grant your own wish, but you have to grant mine.”

“I’ve already granted you a wish.”

“And did you tell me then, I only get one? Besides, you’ve just been reset.”

“I will grant your wish,” Anyanka spat. “Then it’s my turn.”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Xander said. He was showing good sense by getting dressed. “In this case, you _will_ get it.”

“Boy, will she get it,” Anyanka agreed with relish.

* * *

Cordelia paused, then said, “I wish that whatever you do, you do only to me, and that you fully forgive and love Xander.”

Anyanka blinked. “I expected something more selfish from you.” Her posture straightened, and she pointed at Cordelia. “D—”

“Wait! That doesn’t help Pasadena. No, I wish that you fully forgive and love Xander, restore Pasadena, and stop the Archdemon.”

Anyanka pointed again. “D—”

“No! Stop! Even if you still loved Xander, could he still love you? I know some people have a real problem about dating demons.” Cordelia tried not to think about how she’d hurt Doyle.

Anyanka glanced at Xander. “Yes.”

At last Cordelia knew what to say: “So here’s my official wish: that I’d had the Wand of Whedonj back when Angel first needed it, back before the Archdemon destroyed Pasadena. In other words, I wish these last few days had never happened, and I’d never hurt Anya.”

Anyanka nodded, accepting the apology. “In eleven hundred years, you were the only woman who never made a wish to hurt anyone.” Then her posture straightened, and she pointed at Cordelia. “Done.”

* * *

**Days earlier  
Angel Investigations  
Los Angeles**

“Wesley, don’t worry,” Cordelia said soothingly. “Like I ever want Xander Harris back in my life again.”

That’s when a gold box appeared on her desk. Angel looked startled; Wesley looked frightened.

Cordelia opened the box and looked inside. “This is the Wand? How did it get here?”

For a second, Quorth looked puzzled as well. Then he said, “Now I know. Your older self had it sent here.”

“Her older self?” Angel said.

“It’s a long and surprising story. The short version is, she changed the past to save Xander’s girlfriend from a broken heart.”

“My word,” Wesley said, obviously not sure how to react. But the other two were very sure: Cordelia beamed, and Angel squeezed her shoulder.

Then these three found the Archdemon and turned him into a man. L.A. was spared further damage, and Pasadena went unharmed.

Stunned that Quorth claimed she’d done something unselfish, Cordelia thought hard the next few days. The following Monday, Cordelia asked for a day off, traveled to Lompoc Correctional, and visited her father for the first time. He cried, seeing her.

* * *

**Five months later: Halloween, 2000  
Sunnydale**

Anya came to the costume party dressed as a French Maid. She made Xander choke on a jack o’lantern cookie when she mentioned to Giles that she’d owned the costume since June.

 


End file.
